I got a lot of shit going on. I don’t really expect anyone to read this, but it’ll help me to vent a little bit about what I’ve been dealing with, because honestly its just too fucking much for me at this point.
-My family is house is such shit. I don’t even know where to begin. My house is cluttered, my parents are pack rats. We have all this shit we don’t need, laying around. Nobody cleans up after themselves, and even when they do, it doesn’t make a difference. Because nobody has any sanitary habits anyway. Ugh and omfg, the cats piss on whatever they want because it all smells like piss anyway EVERYWHERE. I’m not even fucking exaggerating. Everything smells like piss. I don’t understand why the fuck everything in this house has to get pee on the toilet seat, the ground, and yes, even in cups that WE FUCKING DRINK OUT OF. Like it’s getting ridiculous how un-homey this house is— even physically.
-Not only the way it looks, the people in it. It’s sad to say, but my mother has purpose to me. She is mental, losing her mind, a drug addict— but OH WAIT they’re “prescribed” so “its okay,” shes “not addicted!” Fuck her. Fuck her and the way she treats me and the rest of the family. I just cant justify it anymore. She should let us admit her to a nice facility somewhere to get better. But no. She’s too fucking selfish. So I have to take her abuse and 10 pg text messages every morning, telling me how much she hates me and her life and her family. Then complaining how nobody loves her. Leave me alone. You’re ruining my life with those fucking percocets.
-My dad is employed by the government so he hasnt been to work in 2-3 weeks. All he does is make everything worse. I thought by having him here, he’d be helpful—breaking up the fights, cooking, cleaning.. all the shit im usually responsible for along with school & work. But no. All he does is everything half ass and bitches about how he has to do everything. If youre gonna bitch about how you have to do everything, do it fucking right. I’m sick of cleaning up his messes. So sick of it. Give me a break.
-My poor brother and sister, i can only do so much to keep them sane. But how the hell am I supposed to keep them together, if I can’t even keep myself from the nightly fights of rage as my childish parents argue. Grow the fuck up.
-I’m so stressed about school. I’m doing so well.. but its hard for me to keep it up, with all this shit going on. I feel like I have no friends, but it’s quality that counts.. not quantity. I found this out the hard way. But I do have quite a few great people to lean on. Problem is, i dont wanna drag them down. Like this shit is getting ridiculous and theres just no help for me until I move out. So There’s no point in me putting the extra stress on anyone else… because maybe writing it out in a tumblr text post will ease my throbbing headache, and maybe the kind words of strangers will keep me together tonight.